PLKN DAYS #1; My First Feeling

PLKN DAYS #1

This is how I felt when I first got in.

*

I thought it'll be okay;

but I was wrong.

So very very wrong.

I smile to keep my sadness away,

I laugh to hide my disappointment.

I cannot, once, comprehend;

WHY ON EARTH AM I HERE?

What sin have I done

to make me wonder in this place?

What had I done

that I deserve all these sufferings?

Is there, really,

any good in here, in PLKN?

Is this what they all called

THE BLESSING IN DISGUISE?

Positive I am for all reasons,

pushing myself to the limit,

making me stand in the crossroads;

What shall I do?

How should I feel?

Loneliness is all I can feel

in here.

I extremely miss my life

back there

in my very own comfort zone.

I miss all my friends,

my family members,

my dogs,

my life,

my bed,

my time...

and my lifestyle back there.

Will I ever, ever ,ever,

fit in into this?

Will I ever really enjoy 

myself in this camp?

Will I ever be able

to smile again?

I look to the sky,

where is peace,

where is joy,

where are you,

O Lord?