even when i am typing this
my heart is at unease.
...
4 hours ago, i was involved in a car accident.
*
when i was younger
i said once
" i really wonder how those car accidents felt "
now i know...
*
especially when i was the driver.
...
it happened so quickly.
yet...
in that few seconds
it was as if time slowed down.
...
when i turned my head
and saw the car
coming in my direction
my mind was in chaos.
...
" get out of the way! "
...
i tried but i could not.
there was an old man motorist in front of me.
i could not just bang that old man.
...
" reverse! "
but there were too many cars.
...
i could not move.
i stare at the car as it came
i saw it tried to break
smoke from his tyres
but he was too fast
and we were too near
...
so all i could do was wait...
wait...
wait...
and see the car coming at me
nearer
and nearer
and BANG.
***
after that was so important.
accidents and mistakes happened.
it is inevitable.
but only one thing matters.
the way we handle the things that happened.
and i could never forget what i saw.
* * *
i learned two vital lessons.
1. there is no such things as being too careful
2. in all conflicts we need to calm down first
* * *
i seriously thank the Lord because Mum was there
just a minute ago i asked why she had to follow us
i had no bad intention. i just did not want her to tired herself out.
but i thank God she followed.
otherwise i would not be able to resolve it as good as she did
the other party was mad. of course he would.
but Mum calmed him.
and things were settled.
if it was me and that angry man,
i did not know what to do.
...
I love her more than I could ever imagine.
...
after that we sent it to the workshop.
i drove.
super cautious.
...
i showed no sign of shaking.
or being afraid.
but in my heart
i was traumatized.
i was petrified.
...
my heart now is still at unease
...
my good friend L gave me a verse
1 Peter 5:7
Cast all your anxiety on Him because He cares for you.
and L said she will never believe me
when i said i'm fine
....
well that's sorta comforting...
***
i paid a price
for being careless
and curious
...
will i stop being curious
...
no
...
but instead of complaining
i am grateful
that i could at least
still be curious
of how those victims felt
in an earthquake
in a massacre
in a robbed bank
in a typhoon
in a flood
in a persecution
...
now i know
that this world is more that it seems
...
now i know
that how they felt in a tragic accident
...
now i know
that it ain't funny or punny
...
now i know
nothing matters more than safety
...
now i know
that God had been good to me
all the time
...
now i know...
now i know...
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